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𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚎. ([personal profile] recursive) wrote2022-01-30 06:58 pm
divinely: ᴰᴺᵀ | ᴴᴬᵀᴸᴵᴷᴱᴿ (Default)

[personal profile] divinely 2022-03-08 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ memories of Tsumiki are ones he guards fiercely like a dragon hoarding treasure, and every so often, they plant their own seeds of ideas. this moment is brought to fruition by the reminiscence of his older sister reaching for his hands every time they left the nearest library (to save on energy bills, water bills, necessities like toilet paper...), her soft exclamation: how do you keep your hands so warm, Megumi?

apart from that, he has no idea if he actually runs warm. he knows his memories are colored strongly by the nostalgia and wistful regret that skews his perception for everything else, and it wouldn't be unlike Tsumiki to praise him for something he doesn't deserve to be praised for. next to Itadori and Kugisaki who always run so warm - as if their physiology is a direct representation of their personalities - he might just be painfully average.

but he thinks his senpai won't end up minding anyway. especially when his chuckle's already got Megumi feeling a lot warmer than he normally might be. (he's not the one that usually makes people laugh; it feels especially good when it's Yuuta.)

thankfully, his hands do turn out to be a lot warmer, and the spike of genuine concern has Megumi's brows furrowing for a second as his own fingers curl - and squeeze. it's enough of a distraction for the tracing over his skin to settle into graceful realization. he startles, recovers - swallows as he meets Yuuta's knowing gaze. ]


Only for those I care about.
divinely: ᴰᴺᵀ | ᴴᴬᵀᴸᴵᴷᴱᴿ (pic#15452288)

he knows what he wants for sure c;

[personal profile] divinely 2022-03-10 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ the blush and the pause makes all the difference.

while Megumi's not ... unfamiliar with the concept of romance, his experiences range from over-aggressive girls in grade school to those awkward encounters around Valentine's Day, where a girl would determinedly approach him with an envelope and chocolate in her hands and. well. growing up with an older sister had at least taught Megumi not to throw those letters away on campus where they could be found, but he'd never read any of them. more than just pointless, it had seemed almost laughable, to think he could ever engage in something normal like dating when his whole world was on a different axis.

his feelings for Yuuta are different in that they're secure, strongly rooted in the knowledge that they can understand each other in the most fundamental ways. but they're also quiet; like looking up from an intriguing book and realizing how much darker the shadows have grown as night draws nearer. no dramatic declarations. no silly emotional unraveling. and even when they're like this, calloused palms gently pressed together, Megumi can only feel his lungs expelling oxygen like they've expanded to twice their size; the quietest indication that he just might be floating on clouds.

he smiles, just enough to show a sliver of his pleasure, almost boyish in how bashful it is. it would be so easy - so easy to just step even closer until it makes more sense to let go of Yuuta's hands and have his fingers curl around something else instead. a cheek, his waist... Megumi's far too proper to seize his chance to follow his instincts, but he's sure it's written all over his face anyway. ]


Dangerous? I rather think this is a natural response to the ways you make me react, senpai.
divinely: ᴰᴺᵀ | ᴴᴬᵀᴸᴵᴷᴱᴿ (pic#15452364)

[personal profile] divinely 2022-03-24 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
[ he's a little surprised at his own steadiness.

Kugisaki likes to call him an anti-social guy and as much as he gives her grief about it, Megumi can't deny that she's wrong. he was very young when he learned that the last remaining pillar in his parental unit had seen fit to sell him back to a clan they'd never even considered family in the first place. no goodbyes, no explanations. and no check-ins, even after all these years. the loss of his mother was greatly softened by timing; Megumi isn't the type to sit and daydream about whether she smiled when she looked down at her baby in her arms. but being sold, no more useful than a cheap prostitute to a client who only needs his bed warm for a few hours, is a betrayal that cuts deep even when he's not actively thinking about it.

how much, he used to wonder, when he first began summoning his shikigami and taming them, are these all worth?

more than he was. that's for sure.

and it's a belief that, until recently, embedded itself to his core, tying itself to his identity, to every thought and action, until death by way of a divine general felt like the best way to make his cheap life worth more. his one trump card - a flash of brilliant strength before the fade into irrelevance. his shikigami's name would live on longer than his own. the way it should be.

Megumi still feels the distant ache of a familiar fear he's just barely extracted: this is selfish, especially for a guy who's never seen the point of making too much of an effort to get along with people because his end is inevitable. the road ahead is paved in gold for only the strongest. a wretched, lonely road, but one they get to walk regardless. his eyes dip down to the sight of their hands, curled together as if it's a natural thing they've done so many times before.

it is selfish. but his senpai is strong enough to indulge him. ]


I never felt like I could be dangerous before you.

[ it's something of an apology and a request, with the way he says it, eyes intensely earnest for once as he visibly takes a deep breath and leans in, slow - more than enough time for Yuuta to express discomfort or move away. his kiss, in contrast to his certainty, is soft, hesitant - more than indicative of the truth in his words - and chaste. a confession purposely given with a weight as light as a butterfly's wing. ]
divinely: ᴰᴺᵀ | ᴴᴬᵀᴸᴵᴷᴱᴿ (pic#15452325)

[personal profile] divinely 2022-05-03 10:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ his reaction to a kiss, as it turns out, is not all that different from a fight. the only real difference is how the nerves and anxiety strike: where a fight might make his heart pound incessantly, and his lungs stretch as widely as they can against his ribcage, Yuuta's lips against his own makes Megumi feel as though his organs might stutter and fail from forgetting how to work properly. it's a powerful thing, deceptive in its simplicity. where he thought he would be satisfied with just one, that thought is easily replaced with an immediate desire for more. more kisses, more time, more of both.

a huff of amusement is all he can manage - and even that's a little choked with endeared disbelief - before their lips are touching once more, the feeling of Yuuta's heartbeat against his hand somehow directly influencing to his own until he can swear they're beating together, at the same pace, like a terribly corny development in a drama.

but this green light is all he needs. that, and the calloused hand against his cheek that he already wants to lean into, to give Yuuta all the warmth he deserves. ]


I'm sure.

[ there's no time to be embarrassed by the way his voice has somehow softened and deepened simultaneously, not when his lips are moving, growing in confidence as they glide - clumsy in some ways, like catching where they're both too dry but details like that fade away in the overwhelming growth of his enthusiasm. almost enough to be puppy-like, now that he feels safe enough to unleash his feelings.

but he's still Fushiguro Megumi, with a self-preservation instinct that stretches longer than the sun's distance from the earth, and he doesn't allow his desires to run rampant for too long. (rampant, in this case, is what others would probably still consider reserved.) when he's mustered up enough strength to pull back slowly and gracefully, he does. and probably looks entirely too solemn when he squeezes Yuuta's hand to remind himself this isn't a dream. ]


Senpai. You know how I feel now, right?