( they could very well be from the same or a similar world, though if johnny didn't know anything about cursed spirits, it was likely a different one. sorcerers using cursed energy to combat them and protect the common man from preying upon them was their primary function, after all. might be worth asking later... )
An "art"... I suppose so. It's something I technically go to school for, though it's pretty rare for a person to have the potential to become a jujutsu sorcerer. ( that makes both the school in tokyo and the one in kyoto scout pretty aggressively for those with that potential (though, in recent years, they'd very nearly put two of those individuals to death rather than teach them). ) My class only had three other people in it, besides me.
( and if johnny met or knows inumaki toge, he officially knows fifty percent of yuuta's class!
both yuuta and rika react at johnny's offhanded judgment; yuuta goes rigid, and then he tries to diffuse his own tension by laughing, though its obvious enough that it's a forced and nervous sort of sound. rika, on the other hand, becomes visibly angry. a flinch, an anime popping vein symbol, and a low, aggravated growl (which, weirdly enough, sounds like that of a young girl despite some aural fluctuation). she even starts to lean further out of her rift in space before yuuta lifts a hand to her face to hold her back. she relents, for now. )
Hi, Tusk. ( yuuta gives a small wave, and rika, seemingly fit to ignore the strange, pink spirit, forces a huge hand through another rift nearby to threateningly point a dark, cracked fingernail at johnny before disappearing entirely. yuuta sighs, his shoulders slumping; in addition to the mental toll mediating interactions with her can be, it's also a drain on his cursed energy to keep her manifested for too long without her ring to stabilize it. )
That's silly. ( he addresses johnny's last statement with a bright smile. ) We were already allies, Johnny. We're friends, aren't we? But I'm happy you told me about this. ( especially since... it seemed like it meant something to him? it's less of a ritual for sorcerers to tell one another about their abilities. actually, by the law of binding vows, revealing one's hand actually makes their techniques stronger... ) Both Rika and I will help you out however we can. Though - ( and here he places his hands together in front of him, an image of pleading. ) - please don't be too rude to her. There's only so much I can do to calm her down...
[ he's never seen one so... expressive? johnny hasn't had the fortune(?) to interact with any fully-sentient Stands, so he's a bit shocked by how she visibly reacts to what he says, even when Yuuta doesn't. Is this a reflection of his inner feelings, then...? Considering that awkward laugh, too - maybe he shouldn't have said that. The quiet ones can be the ones to watch out for, they say. His eyes widen a fraction, and that hand-waving becomes slightly more urgent. ]
Uh -- sorry. I didn't think she was, uh, listening...? [ phrased in such a way that makes it clear he's still not sure if that's what happened. ] Mine looks like a fuckin' joke, so you're doing pretty good, actually!
[ this probably isn't helping, but Johnny isn't known for his social finesse... alas. (True to form, Tusk doesn't seem insulted at being called a joke - clearly, it doesn't have nearly as much independence as Rika does.) Fortunately, she doesn't leave him time to make it worse; her offended exit leaves him with only Yuuta's words to contemplate, instead, as Tusk follows suit soon after, gradually fading away into the background once more.
Friends? Already...? Here, when Johnny's got nothing to offer at all? Hard to believe, especially from a guy who he's only really taken advantage of. But, again, what choice does he have but to believe? ]
... You're a big softie, aren't you, Yuuta? [ scary Stand and all. a little smile. ] All right... we're friends, then. You said it.
( oh, she would've been much more expressive if the real rika was still in there โ she probably would have tried to grab him in one of her huge hands and shake him until he showed proper respect. yuuta still isn't really sure if the behavior that this version of rika displays is either informed by whatever piece of herself she left behind in it or by his memories of her and what he thinks she might have done in that situation. it could be a little bit of both? regardless, it's not as though he really takes offense? he's aware that rika's form... well, when she was actually in there and as it is now, it's always been frightening-looking and monstrous. it had taken him a while to stop being terrified of it himself. and his classmates had basically attacked him on sight just because they sensed she was with him, when he'd first met them... )
No, it's alright! She is always, um... around me, if that makes sense? Is Tusk not hanging around you when he's not summoned...?
( and... it seems as though yuuta won't stand for johnny putting his own Stand down either...! ) Don't say that! I think he's super cool! He's like some sort of robot...? ( kind of reminds him of that student from the kyoto branch that pilots the mecha suit...
oh, johnny... friendship isn't about what you can offer the other person! he guesses he can kind of understand where he's coming from, but after being a shounen protagonist for a little over a year... declaring something like this is easy enough to do, especially when they're meant to be allies fighting in this whole... war for the universe thing.
he smiles sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck. ) Yeah... I guess I've heard that before. ( he's a soft-hearted guy... until he isn't. but that's only when he needs to be. ) Okay. Good! We've gotta stick together, after all... It's only making all of this tougher for us, if we don't.
[ the word "robot" prompts a wrinkled brow and a vague, quizzical tilt of his head, but he doesn't pursue, if only because it doesn't matter. He's been introduced to so many terms he doesn't recognize these past few weeks - he's trying to stop asking so many questions lest people start thinking he's some kind of idiot. Tusk looks kind of like a toy to him, if he had to compare it to anything, so Johnny decides that a robot must be something like that... he'll do some research later... ]
Yeah, I guess. [ he doesn't really know who to trust or how much the Pleroma can actually help him - he's never been much of a team player. But he does feel like he can trust Yuuta, at least. ] Don't get too nice and let people take advantage of you. We might all be on the same side, but we still barely know anything about anyone. Especially "Pleroma."
[ a beat. ]
... Although it looks like your "Rika" would beat up anyone who tried anything.
[ she seemed like she'd been ready to beat up Johnny a second ago, after all. ]
yuuta seems to accept johnny's advice, but he does so with obvious conflict written on his face. it's not that he's unaware of situations like these. he had been a ready tool of the jujustu society, both because it was expected as him as a student of their school but also because, as special grade, it meant there were things only someone like he could do. but as his teacher had told him, its higher-ups were overly conservative and reactionary โ the same old men that would've had him executed due to the curse that he bore a little over a year ago now ironically relied on him to carry out their judgments. gojou, as uncontrollable as he was due to his power, had been a rogue element to them, and he had passed that nature and that wariness on to his student. don't always trust those in power, especially those that have had it for a long time. they will rarely do what is in your best interest.
it feels different, somehow. it's not as though the sorcerers' struggle against curse users and cursed spirits wasn't important โ at the time that he'd been taken from his world, it had reached a point where it might result in a global extermination of all mundane, non-sorcerer people. they fought for similarly dire reasons here, but... they had so little information, so few resources, such scant direction. it makes him want to trust who they do have, but...
johnny is right. doing so would just open them up to risk. )
...Mm. ( he hadn't commented himself, but he had read dextera's Communion discussion on his doubts about the Pleroma. he understands. it's so hard to trust something you can't see, can't speak to, can't reason with, but... if they can't trust it, or what it stands for, then what's the point? ) You're right. I know. It's just - even if we don't trust in it, or in the resistance, or anything else... we at the very least need to try to trust one another. Us Aions allied under it. With what we're up against... We just won't have any chance unless we do at least that.
( his companion's comment about rika breaks through his sudden severity. his expression changes, growing warm and worn around the edges; an affection that has existed for so long that it has formed an impression in his expression, and one he falls into quickly at the sound of her name. ) Yeah. She hasn't let much happen to me in the last ten years, so - don't worry about me. I've always got someone watching my back.
[ he's still not really used to people who aren't Gyro taking him seriously; he looks a little surprised when Yuuta responds to his off-handed cynical comment with a thoughtful, earnest answer, having said it with the expectation that it would be brushed off. It's been a while. Johnny scratches his head, somewhat awkward, as he formulates a reply. ]
Yeah, well... I might be right, but you're not wrong, either. [ a small sigh, and he shakes his head briefly, dismissive. ] I'm just used to shit going belly-up when we get too cozy. Don't worry about it.
[ he's not too proud to admit that it colors how he sees things - he's well aware of it. Unfortunately, being aware of it doesn't mean he's been able to stop feeling like disaster's always right around the corner. But he knows it's in his head - or, at the very least, that not everybody has a disaster waiting. Besides, if nothing else, Yuuta's right that they don't have a chance alone.
He'd rather talk about Rika than what the right thing to do in their situation is. At least that topic has some concrete answers and isn't an existential threat. ]
You've had her for ten years? Damn... I've only had Tusk for a few months. [ he's not sure what to make of that really gentle expression on Yuuta's face...? one would think they were talking about his wife and not his Stand. Or, not Stand - what did he call it? ] You must be a really good "juju sorcerer," then.
( yuuta smiles another one of those smiles, soft, somewhat sad, and worn around the edges. )
I understand. I think you're right to be cautious. It's just that... I want to feel like I can trust you and the others. All of this - will become much worse, if that isn't the case.
( considering the fact that they have more than one reason to even suspect the very force that they were supposedly meant to represent... this is the baseline of what yuuta wants. he's out of his depth, fighting for some sort of spiritual ideal. but if he can picture in his mind's eye people that he has at his side and at his back, that he cares for and that he likes to think care for him... he'll be able to do just about anything. he just needs that much.
because they've all got disaster on the horizon, no matter what. there's only two boons that they have for that: the fact that they know it's coming, and the fact that they can work together to prepare for it.
he has to laugh. "juju sorcerer"... yeah, he tried his best. ) That's what I'm told. ( yuuta's humility prevents him from agreeing too readily, though he would at least admit that he's one of only four sorcerers that share his rank. his smile spreads, though it's the sort that does so more out of awkwardness than anything else. he chuckles, nervous. ) "Had her"... That's not really how I would put it. I mean, she was a cursed spirit for six or so of those, but I've known her since I was six... ( the plot thickens. )
[ yuuta, too nice to correct his incorrect attempt... he'll embarrass himself later with this
his nerves are apparent, and Johnny doesn't really grasp why, outside of plain old humility. The explanation doesn't clear up the reason, either. In fact, it only makes Johnny more confused. His brows pinch together. ]
Wait... what do you mean, she was a cursed spirit for six? You mean she was "something else" before she was a Stand...?
[ the idea of him developing a Stand naturally isn't totally outside of the question - Johnny hasn't met anyone like that, but that has to be how the Saint's powers appeared originally, right? - but the idea of someone or something turning into one is. Maybe they're not as similar as he thought, after all. ]
( alas, the poison is always in the tail for his overly polite nature.
but when it comes to this particular topic, he's a little more particular about the details, just because of how close they are to his heart. while it seems there are many similarities between what "Stands" are and what rika is... johnny's confusion here gives yuuta the impression that they definitely aren't the same thing. because, as a cursed spirit, rika hadn't been unique โ there have always been vengeful cursed spirits throughout japanese history, those whose grudges had caused them to persist after their mortal deaths, with yuuta's (very distant, very vague) ancestor being one of the most well-known.
he blinks, tilts his head a degree or two to one side, and replies slowly, ) Well, yeah... Before that, she was just my friend. ( okay, that description is a little toothless. yuuta isn't a coward. ) She was - the girl I was going to marry one day.
One: Rika definitely isn't a Stand. Or, at least, probably isn't. The nature of how Stands come into being isn't clear to him, but he strongly doubts Rika was any kind of saint whose body somehow gave Yuuta power after her passing. In other words, she's some sort of for-real ghost, which makes Yuuta some sort of for-real necromancer, in Johnny's eyes. It's fortunate that he's not particularly religious, despite going to church through his youth like a good southern boy, or this would be terrifying.
Two: He totally just called Yuuta's girlfriend ugly to his face, didn't he...?
Johnny blinks a few times and tries not to look completely taken aback by this information. ]
S-seriously? She's your fiancee?
[ should he feel sorry for Yuuta?! He doesn't know how he should be feeling!! (Except guilty for calling her ugly. He is feeling that.) ]
Edited (*picks up my dropped parenthesis*) 2022-07-22 03:43 (UTC)
( well, johnny, she had not looked like that when they were kids, so he's not that offended? there had been plenty of years that he had coexisted with rika and the curse tangled between them, especially those in the beginning, that he had also been terrified of her. when it became apparent that she was more of a danger to everything around him, he then transitioned into being terrified of what she was capable of doing to others.
sometimes it hurts him to think about, but he had known her longer as a cursed spirit than he had as a human being. in all that time, he had stopped finding her frightening and monstrous as he had in the beginning. regardless of how she looked or how viciously she acted, it had always been in defense of him, out of her protective love for him. he'd loved her too, despite it all or perhaps because of it. sometimes he had selfish moments where he wishes they could have had more time like that together, but โ no. it had been right to undo her curse as soon as he realized he was the one that had put it on her in the first place.
he hadn't told johnny this wanting to shame him, or tell him off, or make him feel bad. at first he speaks on embarrassed reflex, scratching at the back of his head, )Fiancee... That makes it sound so formal... ( he has to take a moment to consider how to continue, and when he does, his voice is measured and gentle. )
She was, yeah. After she died, I - unknowingly cursed her, preventing her soul from passing on and keeping it close to me instead. But a year ago, I'd realized what I'd done, and I released her from that curse. She's... gone now. But, um - ah, I know it's a sad story, but it's okay. ( he smiles faintly. ) I got more time with her than I would have otherwise.
The "Rika" I just showed you now ... It looks a little bit like how she used to look, and it sounds like her, but I realized pretty quickly she's not really "in" there anymore. She... can't talk to me, the way she used to. I'm not really sure why I can still summon it, but - maybe it's something like something she left behind to watch after me.
( he shrugs. he isn't sure, and it's a perfect mystery to the other sorcerers at the jujutsu society as well. )
[ Johnny's a very guarded person, generally; Yuuta sharing something that must be so intimate is, once again, unexpected. Definitely not something he'd be doing, were their positions switched. Not that he could even explain Tusk if he wanted to. If he told Yuuta that he absorbed Jesus Christ's mummified arm into his body and had his soul summarily granted power through it, then he'd definitely think Johnny was crazy. Even Johnny feels like he might be sort of crazy. Instead, he just quietly listens as Yuuta shares his sad story.
So Rika is her, but not really her - not anymore. He's alone. Again, if their roles were switched... he doesn't know if he'd be able to say goodbye to someone like that. (Or maybe he's being sentimental. Axl Ro would have killed him if he was so unable to let go...) ]
... You were really okay just letting her go like that? [ a beat. ] I mean -- I guess keeping her with you was bad for her. That ghost didn't look happy. Still...
[ was Rika lonely, too? Is she in Heaven now, or something? Johnny isn't sure he believes in things like that anymore. He pauses, awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. ]
Uh... I'm sorry. That that happened to you. You don't have to talk about it or anything.
( he can be a little dense and obtuse sometimes, but in this instance, it's not as though he's ignorant of how personal the information he's sharing is. it's not very difficult to say, especially since his closest friends back home had been there and present for much of the unfolding of it. that, and... he'd hidden himself away for so long, only in the presence of other people when it was socially expected or demanded of him, that he'd unwittingly starved himself of the simple pleasure of speaking to another person about things that you were going through. he likes to act like the events of last year are all behind him, that he's suddenly climbed on top of the mountain of grief that he wandered around the base of for all of those years after rika's death, but... it's more complicated than that. grief is not so much like an obstacle that one overcomes โ it's a lifelong process, and one that can get a great deal easier with time, but there will always be small things and certain times that cause it to become harder as well.
so there's something bizarrely liberating to talk about it, but he also doesn't think he can make any sense of what rika is unless he explains some of the reason why the cursed spirit existed in the first place.
he smiles, the expression worn and gentle with the familiarity that time grants him when thinking about this. he decides... not to tell johnny that he had nearly gone with her. if maki's hand wasn't there to fall on his shoulder and stop him, with toge and panda at her side, there to entreat him to stay... it's hard to say what he might have done, what he might be doing now. rika had told him not to come to her side too soon, and he's doing his best to follow that directive, but โ he's sure she was sad to be separated from him as well, wherever she is now. )
I guess I learned that... sometimes loving someone means letting them go.
( it's natural for the heart to want the opposite. it's a blind, instinctual thing, desperate for comfort and fearful of pain. he had been the same as a child... he just also had the power to keep her with him by force. what he'd done to her had been violent and controlling, even if he had done it unknowingly and out of love. so her love had similarly become violent and controlling; it had hurt countless people, even killed others. he carries that guilt, along with the guilt of having done that to her in the first place. regardless, now is about the time that he does get at least a little self-conscious and awkward about foisting so much on a new friend. he shifts his weight from one foot to another, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt with one of his hands. ) No, I'm sorry... It's not really an easy or pleasant story to hear, I know. It's just kind of hard explaining what "Rika" is without explaining where she came from.
Regardless, Johnny... I'm glad that you talked to me about this. Um, I'll be sure not to tell anyone about it. ( since he'd been so cloak and daggers about telling him, he has to assume he'd want to keep it down-low as much as possible...? )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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( they could very well be from the same or a similar world, though if johnny didn't know anything about cursed spirits, it was likely a different one. sorcerers using cursed energy to combat them and protect the common man from preying upon them was their primary function, after all. might be worth asking later... )
An "art"... I suppose so. It's something I technically go to school for, though it's pretty rare for a person to have the potential to become a jujutsu sorcerer. ( that makes both the school in tokyo and the one in kyoto scout pretty aggressively for those with that potential (though, in recent years, they'd very nearly put two of those individuals to death rather than teach them). ) My class only had three other people in it, besides me.
( and if johnny met or knows inumaki toge, he officially knows fifty percent of yuuta's class!
both yuuta and rika react at johnny's offhanded judgment; yuuta goes rigid, and then he tries to diffuse his own tension by laughing, though its obvious enough that it's a forced and nervous sort of sound. rika, on the other hand, becomes visibly angry. a flinch, an anime popping vein symbol, and a low, aggravated growl (which, weirdly enough, sounds like that of a young girl despite some aural fluctuation). she even starts to lean further out of her rift in space before yuuta lifts a hand to her face to hold her back. she relents, for now. )
Hi, Tusk. ( yuuta gives a small wave, and rika, seemingly fit to ignore the strange, pink spirit, forces a huge hand through another rift nearby to threateningly point a dark, cracked fingernail at johnny before disappearing entirely. yuuta sighs, his shoulders slumping; in addition to the mental toll mediating interactions with her can be, it's also a drain on his cursed energy to keep her manifested for too long without her ring to stabilize it. )
That's silly. ( he addresses johnny's last statement with a bright smile. ) We were already allies, Johnny. We're friends, aren't we? But I'm happy you told me about this. ( especially since... it seemed like it meant something to him? it's less of a ritual for sorcerers to tell one another about their abilities. actually, by the law of binding vows, revealing one's hand actually makes their techniques stronger... ) Both Rika and I will help you out however we can. Though - ( and here he places his hands together in front of him, an image of pleading. ) - please don't be too rude to her. There's only so much I can do to calm her down...
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Uh -- sorry. I didn't think she was, uh, listening...? [ phrased in such a way that makes it clear he's still not sure if that's what happened. ] Mine looks like a fuckin' joke, so you're doing pretty good, actually!
[ this probably isn't helping, but Johnny isn't known for his social finesse... alas. (True to form, Tusk doesn't seem insulted at being called a joke - clearly, it doesn't have nearly as much independence as Rika does.) Fortunately, she doesn't leave him time to make it worse; her offended exit leaves him with only Yuuta's words to contemplate, instead, as Tusk follows suit soon after, gradually fading away into the background once more.
Friends? Already...? Here, when Johnny's got nothing to offer at all? Hard to believe, especially from a guy who he's only really taken advantage of. But, again, what choice does he have but to believe? ]
... You're a big softie, aren't you, Yuuta? [ scary Stand and all. a little smile. ] All right... we're friends, then. You said it.
[ it's obvious he hasn't had many. ]
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No, it's alright! She is always, um... around me, if that makes sense? Is Tusk not hanging around you when he's not summoned...?
( and... it seems as though yuuta won't stand for johnny putting his own Stand down either...! ) Don't say that! I think he's super cool! He's like some sort of robot...? ( kind of reminds him of that student from the kyoto branch that pilots the mecha suit...
oh, johnny... friendship isn't about what you can offer the other person! he guesses he can kind of understand where he's coming from, but after being a shounen protagonist for a little over a year... declaring something like this is easy enough to do, especially when they're meant to be allies fighting in this whole... war for the universe thing.
he smiles sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck. ) Yeah... I guess I've heard that before. ( he's a soft-hearted guy... until he isn't. but that's only when he needs to be. ) Okay. Good! We've gotta stick together, after all... It's only making all of this tougher for us, if we don't.
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Yeah, I guess. [ he doesn't really know who to trust or how much the Pleroma can actually help him - he's never been much of a team player. But he does feel like he can trust Yuuta, at least. ] Don't get too nice and let people take advantage of you. We might all be on the same side, but we still barely know anything about anyone. Especially "Pleroma."
[ a beat. ]
... Although it looks like your "Rika" would beat up anyone who tried anything.
[ she seemed like she'd been ready to beat up Johnny a second ago, after all. ]
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yuuta seems to accept johnny's advice, but he does so with obvious conflict written on his face. it's not that he's unaware of situations like these. he had been a ready tool of the jujustu society, both because it was expected as him as a student of their school but also because, as special grade, it meant there were things only someone like he could do. but as his teacher had told him, its higher-ups were overly conservative and reactionary โ the same old men that would've had him executed due to the curse that he bore a little over a year ago now ironically relied on him to carry out their judgments. gojou, as uncontrollable as he was due to his power, had been a rogue element to them, and he had passed that nature and that wariness on to his student. don't always trust those in power, especially those that have had it for a long time. they will rarely do what is in your best interest.
it feels different, somehow. it's not as though the sorcerers' struggle against curse users and cursed spirits wasn't important โ at the time that he'd been taken from his world, it had reached a point where it might result in a global extermination of all mundane, non-sorcerer people. they fought for similarly dire reasons here, but... they had so little information, so few resources, such scant direction. it makes him want to trust who they do have, but...
johnny is right. doing so would just open them up to risk. )
...Mm. ( he hadn't commented himself, but he had read dextera's Communion discussion on his doubts about the Pleroma. he understands. it's so hard to trust something you can't see, can't speak to, can't reason with, but... if they can't trust it, or what it stands for, then what's the point? ) You're right. I know. It's just - even if we don't trust in it, or in the resistance, or anything else... we at the very least need to try to trust one another. Us Aions allied under it. With what we're up against... We just won't have any chance unless we do at least that.
( his companion's comment about rika breaks through his sudden severity. his expression changes, growing warm and worn around the edges; an affection that has existed for so long that it has formed an impression in his expression, and one he falls into quickly at the sound of her name. ) Yeah. She hasn't let much happen to me in the last ten years, so - don't worry about me. I've always got someone watching my back.
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Yeah, well... I might be right, but you're not wrong, either. [ a small sigh, and he shakes his head briefly, dismissive. ] I'm just used to shit going belly-up when we get too cozy. Don't worry about it.
[ he's not too proud to admit that it colors how he sees things - he's well aware of it. Unfortunately, being aware of it doesn't mean he's been able to stop feeling like disaster's always right around the corner. But he knows it's in his head - or, at the very least, that not everybody has a disaster waiting. Besides, if nothing else, Yuuta's right that they don't have a chance alone.
He'd rather talk about Rika than what the right thing to do in their situation is. At least that topic has some concrete answers and isn't an existential threat. ]
You've had her for ten years? Damn... I've only had Tusk for a few months. [ he's not sure what to make of that really gentle expression on Yuuta's face...? one would think they were talking about his wife and not his Stand. Or, not Stand - what did he call it? ] You must be a really good "juju sorcerer," then.
[ good try ]
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I understand. I think you're right to be cautious. It's just that... I want to feel like I can trust you and the others. All of this - will become much worse, if that isn't the case.
( considering the fact that they have more than one reason to even suspect the very force that they were supposedly meant to represent... this is the baseline of what yuuta wants. he's out of his depth, fighting for some sort of spiritual ideal. but if he can picture in his mind's eye people that he has at his side and at his back, that he cares for and that he likes to think care for him... he'll be able to do just about anything. he just needs that much.
because they've all got disaster on the horizon, no matter what. there's only two boons that they have for that: the fact that they know it's coming, and the fact that they can work together to prepare for it.
he has to laugh. "juju sorcerer"... yeah, he tried his best. ) That's what I'm told. ( yuuta's humility prevents him from agreeing too readily, though he would at least admit that he's one of only four sorcerers that share his rank. his smile spreads, though it's the sort that does so more out of awkwardness than anything else. he chuckles, nervous. ) "Had her"... That's not really how I would put it. I mean, she was a cursed spirit for six or so of those, but I've known her since I was six... ( the plot thickens. )
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his nerves are apparent, and Johnny doesn't really grasp why, outside of plain old humility. The explanation doesn't clear up the reason, either. In fact, it only makes Johnny more confused. His brows pinch together. ]
Wait... what do you mean, she was a cursed spirit for six? You mean she was "something else" before she was a Stand...?
[ the idea of him developing a Stand naturally isn't totally outside of the question - Johnny hasn't met anyone like that, but that has to be how the Saint's powers appeared originally, right? - but the idea of someone or something turning into one is. Maybe they're not as similar as he thought, after all. ]
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but when it comes to this particular topic, he's a little more particular about the details, just because of how close they are to his heart. while it seems there are many similarities between what "Stands" are and what rika is... johnny's confusion here gives yuuta the impression that they definitely aren't the same thing. because, as a cursed spirit, rika hadn't been unique โ there have always been vengeful cursed spirits throughout japanese history, those whose grudges had caused them to persist after their mortal deaths, with yuuta's (very distant, very vague) ancestor being one of the most well-known.
he blinks, tilts his head a degree or two to one side, and replies slowly, ) Well, yeah... Before that, she was just my friend. ( okay, that description is a little toothless. yuuta isn't a coward. ) She was - the girl I was going to marry one day.
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One: Rika definitely isn't a Stand. Or, at least, probably isn't. The nature of how Stands come into being isn't clear to him, but he strongly doubts Rika was any kind of saint whose body somehow gave Yuuta power after her passing. In other words, she's some sort of for-real ghost, which makes Yuuta some sort of for-real necromancer, in Johnny's eyes. It's fortunate that he's not particularly religious, despite going to church through his youth like a good southern boy, or this would be terrifying.
Two: He totally just called Yuuta's girlfriend ugly to his face, didn't he...?
Johnny blinks a few times and tries not to look completely taken aback by this information. ]
S-seriously? She's your fiancee?
[ should he feel sorry for Yuuta?! He doesn't know how he should be feeling!! (Except guilty for calling her ugly. He is feeling that.) ]
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sometimes it hurts him to think about, but he had known her longer as a cursed spirit than he had as a human being. in all that time, he had stopped finding her frightening and monstrous as he had in the beginning. regardless of how she looked or how viciously she acted, it had always been in defense of him, out of her protective love for him. he'd loved her too, despite it all or perhaps because of it. sometimes he had selfish moments where he wishes they could have had more time like that together, but โ no. it had been right to undo her curse as soon as he realized he was the one that had put it on her in the first place.
he hadn't told johnny this wanting to shame him, or tell him off, or make him feel bad. at first he speaks on embarrassed reflex, scratching at the back of his head, ) Fiancee... That makes it sound so formal... ( he has to take a moment to consider how to continue, and when he does, his voice is measured and gentle. )
She was, yeah. After she died, I - unknowingly cursed her, preventing her soul from passing on and keeping it close to me instead. But a year ago, I'd realized what I'd done, and I released her from that curse. She's... gone now. But, um - ah, I know it's a sad story, but it's okay. ( he smiles faintly. ) I got more time with her than I would have otherwise.
The "Rika" I just showed you now ... It looks a little bit like how she used to look, and it sounds like her, but I realized pretty quickly she's not really "in" there anymore. She... can't talk to me, the way she used to. I'm not really sure why I can still summon it, but - maybe it's something like something she left behind to watch after me.
( he shrugs. he isn't sure, and it's a perfect mystery to the other sorcerers at the jujutsu society as well. )
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So Rika is her, but not really her - not anymore. He's alone. Again, if their roles were switched... he doesn't know if he'd be able to say goodbye to someone like that. (Or maybe he's being sentimental. Axl Ro would have killed him if he was so unable to let go...) ]
... You were really okay just letting her go like that? [ a beat. ] I mean -- I guess keeping her with you was bad for her. That ghost didn't look happy. Still...
[ was Rika lonely, too? Is she in Heaven now, or something? Johnny isn't sure he believes in things like that anymore. He pauses, awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. ]
Uh... I'm sorry. That that happened to you. You don't have to talk about it or anything.
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so there's something bizarrely liberating to talk about it, but he also doesn't think he can make any sense of what rika is unless he explains some of the reason why the cursed spirit existed in the first place.
he smiles, the expression worn and gentle with the familiarity that time grants him when thinking about this. he decides... not to tell johnny that he had nearly gone with her. if maki's hand wasn't there to fall on his shoulder and stop him, with toge and panda at her side, there to entreat him to stay... it's hard to say what he might have done, what he might be doing now. rika had told him not to come to her side too soon, and he's doing his best to follow that directive, but โ he's sure she was sad to be separated from him as well, wherever she is now. )
I guess I learned that... sometimes loving someone means letting them go.
( it's natural for the heart to want the opposite. it's a blind, instinctual thing, desperate for comfort and fearful of pain. he had been the same as a child... he just also had the power to keep her with him by force. what he'd done to her had been violent and controlling, even if he had done it unknowingly and out of love. so her love had similarly become violent and controlling; it had hurt countless people, even killed others. he carries that guilt, along with the guilt of having done that to her in the first place. regardless, now is about the time that he does get at least a little self-conscious and awkward about foisting so much on a new friend. he shifts his weight from one foot to another, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt with one of his hands. ) No, I'm sorry... It's not really an easy or pleasant story to hear, I know. It's just kind of hard explaining what "Rika" is without explaining where she came from.
Regardless, Johnny... I'm glad that you talked to me about this. Um, I'll be sure not to tell anyone about it. ( since he'd been so cloak and daggers about telling him, he has to assume he'd want to keep it down-low as much as possible...? )